Of death…. I think about it almost daily… Some days it consumes my every thought…. But I’m also so afraid to live…. I’m afraid that if I start living I’ll forget about everything that changed my life… Everything I’ve gone though all the emotion… I’m so afraid of being here one day and being gone the next it scares me to not know what’s going to happen to me… I joke that I’m going to live forever because I’m so afraid to admit that I really won’t. It scares me more and more everyday seeing people I’ve known my whole life get older and die… It’s so terrifying to know that one day that will be me… I don’t know how to stop myself from thinking about this everyday… Sometimes I sit for hours and just think about it and it makes me cry…. I think I need someone to talk to…. I’m so lonely….
I loose sleep over you… i dont cry… i just cant move on…. i sit and wonder why i feel this way and i cant figure it out… im broken im ashamed…. nobody knows the pain because i dont talk about it anymore… ive put you out of my mind so i could try and focus… focus on the things that are suposed to change my life… but the thing is you never left my mind… not once… not ever… alots happened… and to tell you about it would make me so completely happy… true love does it exist? i thought so… i thought i found it… i thought i finally understood love… but is love suposed to be this painful? is it suposed to be so one way? is it suposed to hurt this much? no i dont think thats love…
its not about the fact that i love you its about the fact that im terrified to be without you….
i guess we have to let the people we love live there lives and be there for them when it all comes crashing down…
i still love you…
<3
[video]
[video]
the cutest little puppy like ever!!!! i would never be lonely if this little cutie was with me!!!
I think im gona make some cookies!!!!
<3
everybodies christmas tree should be pink just like mine!!!!
[video]
[video]
My perfect love story….